I smiled during your story. I fall really hard and quickly, too. I guess my self- esteem is too low, or I'm trying to make up for having an absentee father, or something. My feelings can also be kind of compulsive in that regard. Maybe your mind went to him because it needed to get a break from worrying about Mr. Sofa. Maybe it was a psychological need to soften the blow a bit? I've been reading a lot about grief. I think it is perfectly normal to have good and bad days. It is also normal to get kind of numb, and then have the feelings come rushing back. Anyway, I can follow what you are saying. I would guess that you are much more desirable than you realize and that lots of men are probably giving you looks! You may have just not noticed it before. Maybe you were too busy worrying about Mr. Sofa & just didn't notice?