thanks for all of your replies, very insightful. I too had the crazy notion with my last pregancy that it would solve my alcoholism. After making promises to myself and to God that all i need to do is be pregnant again and I can quit after that with 9 months of forced sobriety. I lasted about 6 weeks after I had the baby before i picked up a drink and havent stopped for another 2 years now.
Broken promises to not only yourself but God...thats some heavy guilt.
Well I am finished having my children now...so looks like im going to have to come at this with a different approach. Its really hard isnt it?