From one mom to another, it's simply, really. We care about everyone and everything - except OURSELVES. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. We are not bad people, and we know that we could never forgive ourselves if we hurt our unborn children. Personally, I couldn't wait for either of my pregnancies to be over (the second one moreso than the first, as my disease had progressed by that time) so I could hit the bottle again. I never dared to breastfeed my babies; I knew my milk was no good for them. As crazy as this sounds, I have gotten pregnant thinking that it was a way out of my alcoholism. Surely if I was unable to drink for nine months, there would be no reason to go back to it. Sadly, it is not so. It always comes down to the same thing. We can't quit for anyone except ourselves.