I try to let my mother know how grateful I am constantly. With the money I do have, I try to buy the majority of the groceries and I do all of the cleaning and I constantly thank her. She is a tremendous help for me by allowing us to live here and she said that she would help me get a car eventually. I know she understands that I am in a slump is trying her best to help me but talk to anyone of my family members or her ex-husband (they are very good friends still) and they will all tell you my mother is a very difficult woman to live with..lol. Again, she means well but many times can come off very insensitive and this doesn't have to have anything to do with my abf. I am also trying my best not to talk to her about since it does end up with me feeling worse which, is something that I definitely do not need.
I also understand what you are saying about giving things time with him. I am in no way saying that I want to jump back into things with my abf because I saw first hand how bad his addiction was getting (or was) and it scared me for my childrens welfare and my own as well as his. I can't say that I do not worry about what will happen to him if he does get released, but I am trying my best in this sense to leave it up to my HP.
It's just so incredibly hard...right now I am doing a bit better but that's the thing in an hour I may be a hysterical mess. It just seems I am having more bad days than good but I am trying hard to rise above this and get myself to a better place...
Thank you coffeedrinker for your support and kind words as they mean a lot...SR has definitely been a tremendous source of insight and support for me that past two months
