Welcome Michael! The good news is - you are self-aware and know exactly what you have to do. Many of us go on for decades trying to manage it - anything so we don't have to give it up entirely. I almost lost my life with that attitude. That never has to happen to you. Be proud of yourself for coming here and reaching out for help.
You've probably heard that alcoholism is a "progressive disease". I never realized what that meant until I progressed into a 24/7 drinker with one by my bedside so I wouldn't withdraw & shake during the night. I, too, didn't drink every day & once could use willpower to just have a few. As you're already aware, it isn't how often we drink, but what happens to us when we do.
You can do this - and have a beautiful life with no more guilt or remorse. I'm sorry for your troubles with the woman in your life, but you must do this for you. Please keep talking to us and let us know how it's going for you.