If you continue to take that first drink then everything of any happiness in your life will vanish. And probably very quickly because as you lose more because of your behaviour when drinking then the more you will drink because you have nothing to stop drinking for. Very vicious cycle.
Get out now whilst you can. I never drank everyday either and I got properly sober at 23. I too was a blackout binge-drinker. I too am not like the person I became when I drank. I am the typical Jekyl and Hyde character when drinking. I guess that's what the allure of getting wasted was in a kind of way but like you are experiencing it turns nasty and people don't want to be around you.
I have slowly rebuilt my life back up from my rock-bottom and this is purely a result of accepting I am an alcoholic and 'just for today I will not drink'. People tell me I am funny and kind now and I always was but this is not what they would tell me if I was drinking again. I ain't going back to where you are at now man. I have been there and I know how you're feeling. obviously not exactly but similar.
Alcoholism is progressive it always gets worse. When I was 19 I was bingeing heavily and getting wrecked every weekend but would have told you to f*ck off if you said I had a problem. I was proud of my ability to take getting wrecked as my philosophy and way of life. Fast forward 3 years and I was drinking super-strength (9%) 500ml cans of lager at 7.30am in the freezing cold pouring rain on Sunday morning trying to drink that anxiety/remorse that you talk of away. used to hate bumping into people walking their dogs or buying a paper. Embarassing.
Get out whilst you can dude.