You are not alone. Welcome! Glad you are here. This phrase got my attention--"My problem is that once I start drinking, I don't want to stop." That is concerning. I remember when things were that way for me--then years later it became I couldn't stop once i started drinking--even when I truly wanted to. You can cut back now or possibly even stop now before you cross that line. I was a problem drinker by age 18. I was an alcoholic by age 23. The fact that you are here seeking answers is good. This is a great place to find support. Have you considered going to an AA meeting or any other recovery groups? There are meetings for young people in certain areas--plenty of people your age in recovery. Keep reading/posting. I hope you find the answers you seek. We do recover.