Can you call your local AA helpline?.......they may be able to get you to a meeting..Or at least give you some advice on where the nearest meeting is.
For me i had to reach that level of desperation to open up my mind at little.
good time drinking was years past along with having any choice.
like you i knew i was powerless....i sobered up a few times with help....but quickly become absorbed by the thought of drinking again.
After a life time of chronic alcoholism i parked my sorry butt in AA.....And tried to get to grips with what the hell they were going on about.
i was told if i got on with the 12 steps with as much passion as i drank i was gonna be ok.....
but not only ok..........they told me i could recover..
"oh yeah sure recover"......i thought.
i thought id be gripping the sides of the armchair for the rest of my life trying not to drink.
this year will be 10 years since i took my last desperate drink.
i did recover............and life grew into something beyond my comprehension.
life is life.....it aint always easy..........but alcohol plays no part in it anymore.
and it plays no part in my mind..
i guess i just wanted to tell you........life is possible without booze.
because i never thought it was.
not just possible.......your whole outlook on life and and everything in it will change.....
the best years of your life could lie ahead of you.........it did for me the minute i picked up the book "alcoholics anonymous" and did what it suggested i do......with the help of a sponsor.
what you got to lose?..........jump right in.
and then post how your doing.
god be with you.