but my work and traveling is triggering me big time.
So the reason you won't go into detox right now is because of a job that triggers you to drink? Hmmmm, something's not right here. I realize that you have to make a living to keep a roof over you and your families head, food on the table and so on, but is it worth dying for? That's the bottom line Dub. I'm just going to be flat out honest here. Ever since I met you here on SR you've been struggling. You'll put together a few weeks, maybe a month or two then something happens that you drink or use again. Reminds me so much of myself. What I had to do and what you need to do is completely surrender. Like the others have said, you need to put your Sobriety first, above anything else. What good is this job if you end up in the ICU at a hospital throwing up blood with Cirrhosis of the Liver? How much is this job going to help you if you end up hitting a child on a bicycle because you had one drink too many?
It's time to get serious Dub. You've been struggling with this for way too long. What kind of medical leave act does your job have? There has to be some way that you can go back into detox and start some kind of treatment before April. You have to want this more than anything in the world.
What's your bottom my Friend? What's it going to take for you to surrender?
God Bless,
Judy