Thank you all so much.....you are all right. I should have mentioned I have 4 sons from my previous marriage aging 14, 12, 10, 9 then my 15mnth old daughte and a baby on the way...somedays overwhelming....let's just say I picked the 2nd husband in the same way I picked the first....which is leading to the same thing. Good news....I am great at the whole mothering thing......just sad to be alone. My sons are old enough that they are a lot of help with their little sister and I'm sure will be with their soon to be brother. I always wanted a big family....lol....I just didn't think I'd be doing it alone again! Anyway, writing here on SR always helps me refocus and clear my head and thoughts....so thank you all for your responses!!