If you could detach if any of us could detach from our doc, our addict. But put yourself in the shoes of someone not necessarily him but a person that has their gf or wife calling sponsors, calling bosses, digging in records. Is this truly something you want to do? Is this truly something you would want done to you? If I could convey this gently and not sound like a recovery nag hag lol but with just honest truth to you... it is not normal to do those things, it is also a serious invasion of the other person's privacy and I think it might be against AA or NA principles to be talking with sponsors of loved ones.
I know you want confirmation of your suspicions and you want him to do the program the way you do the program but he apparently can't or won't. I think you are a caring loving person that needs a sober/clean mate and one that is going to be around for the next couple months. You deserve better and it is beneath you to be snooping around. Said with care and concern.
