An alcoholic without working a program, even if he or she is sober, is still an *******. He or she may be even worse to live with sober.
The best thing that I ever did was to do for myself. I got into alanon. It took years but I got where I did not need her. I do not need her approval. I no longer long for her to behave a certain way. To be happy I had to break the codependant behavior.