Maybe you thought that returning to drinking......starts with a week of gripping the arm chair and clawing the walls...
maybe having to lock yourself up.
In my experience it didn't happen like that much...........it happened like you explained.
for no apparent reason and with a sack load of reasons why i shouldnt.....
i find myself drinking again.....i didn't set out to drink........in fact i didn't want to drink..
waking up the next day confused and ashamed.
i couldn't bring to mind the horrendous dangers of me and booze or what happens when i mix the 2.........it didn't enter my head...even though previous i was a street bum drunk..
thats why i believe alcoholism centers in the mind........my mind is sick.
i have no mental defense against the first drink.
i have a physical allergy.....once i drink i cant stop.
and a mental obsession that tells me i can drink.....if only i can get on top of it.
no matter how bad it gets ...within a short time of not drinking i cant seem to summon those horrific consequences with enough force to stop me doing it again.....thats insane right.
round and round i go.......
someone helping me in AA said "you need a power greater than you because you got none around booze"....
Dr silkworth wrote "in nearly all cases their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves,If they are to re-create their lives.
i found that power through working the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous..
not overnight......but once i recreated my own perception....a loving god..
just my experience.