Lostmyway, your feelings are perfectly normal because giving up alcohol is a loss and it's frustrating to accept that we are not like other people. I did what you did, and fooled myself into thinking I could manage a couple of drinks and be okay. But, days later, the urge snuck up on me out of the blue and I was back to drinking the whole bottle.
You're being hard on yourself, but understand that your thinking is part of the disease of addiction. Our minds are controlled by the alcohol. Recognize the addict voice, dismiss it, and move on.