Jon;
"Spooky."
Remind you of anyone in particular? LOL!
Ekie;
Detach with love. My son is an addict and is 24 too. It is hard. Perhaps you can start by setting one boundary and sticking to it - no matter what! No matter how much he quacks with his excuses, needs, explainations....whatever. There is a never ending supply of them. So, stick to YOUR boundary.
One thing I am working on now is this: I will do things for him if I want to. Period. If I feel resentful or stressed, it is not good for me. I won't do it. Yes, he has had to walk 5 miles in the middle of the night from the bus station to the house. His choice for not being where he was supposed to be on time for his ride. His choice; his consequence.
It is not perfect. This is a learning experience. But, learn we can!
We need to take care of us. They are adults. Allow them the dignity of finding their own way.
Shalom!