I hear you. Just posted two relapses (that I even am thinking of as "experiments with drinking" - how sick it that?) and now need to re-commit. Thought at 90 days I was doing so well, and obviously so cocky about things. I don't want to end up back where I was with the daily need to consume alcohol. Liking who I've been, and it was tough enough to give it up, that I'm appalled that I'm playing with fire.
I'm with you in spirit. I know you can do this thing.