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Old 02-07-2010, 10:40 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
coffeedrinker
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
i think "changeishard" has some very good, and useful insights.

the first thing i thought when i read "Everytime I ask him a question I would get a AA answer" was that maybe you should change your perspective and try and be glad he is trying to fully live AA now. but then i kept reading. (i only put that here because i think there is a perspective that you might gain help from having)

i think it's fairly common for someone still pretty fresh into recovery to have this new lease on life, and - being the impulsive people they are - jump into something before it's time. this is why they are cautioned to not make any major decisions while still in that first year.

the second thing that struck me was that, even though you don't HAVE to give up drinking, it would be the decent thing to do. but, you've already come to that realization it seems. he may have seen that a non-supportive action, and either not named it, or didn't think he was "supposed to" bring it up. water under the bridge now i guess.

at this point: think about what some of your personal boundaries could be, such as: i do not want you coming to MY HOME whenever you wish to; it's upsetting. and expectation could be that he pays for his share of the bills - what they were when he left. can he suggest a payment plan? i do like the idea of keeping his stuff until...but perhaps you want him to be out so you can start to move on.
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