So sorry about the loss of your father. I lost my dad to suicide 5 years ago. His death wasn't unexpected, but the aftermath that I thought I was prepared to deal with was really hard. There are survivor resources that I have found very helpful: The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention being one. Just a thought in case you need support in dealing with your loss. I have found so much support from the AFSP and it has made a huge difference in my life.
Congrats on working with your doctor to make sure you're doing the best you can for your baby. I was 6 weeks along when I found out I was pregnant and was terrified I had done harm to my child from my nightly drinking. I was honest with my OB and was successful in abstinence for the duration of the pregnancy and today have a happy and healthy little girl.
All my best to you,
Sarah