Dee omg you are so right... telling my TL is one thing.. it's kinda like ok.. well I can still drink and she will never know.... telling my husband puts the nail in the coffin makes it real.. fear of not ever having that taste of alcohal.... she suggested I go to an aa meeting tomorrow.. I said was a good idea but I don't think I am ready.. I am worse tonight than when I joined here this morning... I'm scared, confused, wanting to drink not wanting to drink... knowing I'm spending a fortune on nearly $20 per 1.5 days.. more on the weekends....uggggg why did I spend my life watching and making sure I did not cross the line.. or even go near it only to completely lose myself in alcohal....
