Soph

Can you believe that I have not wanted to let the class of Jan 2010 down! So I have not posted. But here goes:

I did not drink for the first 26 days of this year - January - even went to the film festival and didn't drink. But on the 27th - I caved - for the most trivial of reasons: there was wine in my fridge. My Mom had left it there (she had stayed with my son while I traveled.)

My sponsor says I have still not worked Step one all the way. Nor have I have ever hit the bottom so badly that I am shaken to the core. But I originally stopped drinking because it runs in my family, and I know it is progressive, and I don't like the change in me when I drink too much, and I know it will not take me anywhere pleasant. I am being preventive, and trying so hard to be intelligent! It sucks to be so new at this, after being a wine lover my whole life, with no huge awful consequences.

I don't want to hit a terrible bottom. It is a terrifying thought.

So (deep breath) My first New Day was Feb. 1st and I have already been to 2 meetings this week and going to one tonight (Friday) and am accountable.

Thanks for everyone for being here. It is hard to push yourself when others around you keep telling you how fine you are. I want to wear a tee shirt that says "I'm not fine, so be nice to me, I'm getting sober" very Bridget Jones feeling lately (if they took her wine away, that is! :-)