Hi Brian, I am so glad to hear that you are ready to move on with your recovery. It's natural to have doubts about posting here and what to say........you have nothing to be ashamed of here. We all know what it is like to feel how you are feeling.
To add to all the great advice you have had I would say that I hear a lot of people talk in meetings about how wonderful the fellowship is, how great the meetings are and how it keeps them sober. They live for the days of the meetings to get their 'fix' to top themselves up so that they don't take a drink.
This is not AA's solution. Don't get me wrong, the fellowship is a wonderful thing and you may get sober using it but you will not have the spiritual experience which will make your life happy and fulfilling. This is what you want.
I find that these people who share about how the fellowship and meetings are keeping them from drinking, then go on to share about how crap their week has been and all their problems and tales of woe but then do not give a solution other than, "I'm so glad I got to a meeting today, I feel better already"