I just wanted to pipe in and add a welcome to SR. It is an extremely helpful site with people that have hearts as big as the moon. I have never experienced such giving as you will find here. Try SR, but if its not enough then go for a face to face meeting. There are so many varieties.
I can imagine it is hard for you to admit you have a problem after trying to be so careful about it. It took me years before I would be frank with myself about it and once I dropped the charade then recovery became possible. Very happy for a new sober life and am looking forward to having you join us here.
