Oh, also, the Higher Power, mine is the Christian God, and I am struggling with that right now. Simply because of shame, of the feeling that I've been absent/ignoring for so long, why would He listen to me now? I know that's stinkin thinkin, and I have started talking to Him again, but I still feel incredible guilt and worthlessness and all that in that respect.
I had a lot of problems with shame and self worth too...I'm not an AAer but I do believe in a God whose love and forgiveness is immense and limitless beyond my human understanding...knowing that and accepting it (and trying my best, in my own way, to atone for past behaviours) helps me a lot
D