Hi Banchy,
Boy do I know what you're going through! Just like you I realized that I don't have the strength to go through this again (my addict husband who's been mostly clean for two years just relapsed). We can't clean up their messes or their lives. They have to figure out how to do it for themselves. I told Jack as long as he's fighting to stay clean I'll support him but I can't go through the chaos anymore. It's all about figuring out what we're willing to put up with, setting boundaries, and sticking to them.
I'm glad you found us. Be sure to check out the alanon forum while you're here.
Take care,
JG