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Old 02-03-2010, 08:48 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
teke
grateful rca
 
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
HI, WELCOME

you have come to a good place, lots of experience, strength and hope here, though i'm sorry for what brought you here.

i'm a recovering addict married to an active addict of 23yrs. i've been separated now for 2yrs, trying to monitor him and his addiction was literally driving me insane.

i'm sorry to say but i do agree that him leaving rehab is not a good sign at all. addicts are great manipulators. at first he agreed to you checking his phone and testing, am i right? then slowly he began to reject that idea, how am i doing so far? if so, i can say thats kind of common addict behavior and you trying to monitor him like that is crazy making for you.

i ah would agree to anything if it would buy him more time with me or with his drugs. your bf say he wants to stop and that maybe true but i say watch his actions rather than his words, time will tell you what you want to know. if he is using, he would't be able to hide it for long, his addiction will get progressive worse.
rehab is just the beginning of recovery, the real recovery work begans after rehab. is he going to meetings, have a sponsor?

try to focus more on you and let him focus on his own recovery. if he decides to use, there really is nothing you can do to stop him. he's gonna do what he's gonna do.
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