Alanon and Naranon don't make you talk if you don't want to. You can just say....I am not ready to talk or I'll pass. They are just like you. They have been through it or are going through it. I am no contact with my XAH . Today is his 52nd birthday. I have been divorced 2 1/2yrs. I miss the potential of who he could be without substances, not who he had become. Time does help. I dream of him less, obsess about him less. Holidays and anniversaries are hard but are getting easier. I have serenity now. I don't have fear. I am not ready to date and may never want to or may down the road. The Eckart Tolle books have helped me alot to stay in the moment. Stay busy and try to help someone else. This too shall pass. I got so low at one point, but have come out of it about 95%. At one point I couldn't eat or sleep. One day I heard myself laugh out loud out with some girlfriends, and I knew the real me was slowly coming back. Slowly.....because you have to feel the feelings. There are stages of grief you bounce around in. Anger, denial, acceptance, bargaining, (I am missing one)......You bounce around in them. Back and forth.......until you stay in acceptance. Was sadness the one I'm missing? We are not alone. We are all one.