Hey guys
I'm hoping this is the last time I come here after a relapse and the first time I come here as Day 1 and that being true.
I currently have group therapy for my Eating Disorder and am doing a kind of outpatient rehab-type program. Both mean I can't work and I've committed myself to this for 3 months.
Thing is I relapsed again, the feelings are too hard sometimes, the loneliness to all-encompassing, the self-hatred and poor me's take over, my depressionj wins. I know I should reach out for help in these times but I find that so hard too.
My eating and drinking issues are so connected its impossible to separate them. Without one the other kicks in, I sometimes think my mind and body are on a mission to destroy me.
Anyway, I have a sponsor, I go to meetings (about 3 a week) but I still feel stupidly disconnected from life and then my ED kicks in again. So I try to manage that for sometime before my drinking head kicks in.
GAH, I hear people say it gets easier, I just wish I knew when!!