I deserve a little more respect from his program considering the role I played in his life, not his family, they abandoned him, but now they get to play the martyrs
I think you deserve more too. Actually I think everyone on this board deserves more than what they get when it comes to the way they have been treated by the people who they love more than anything in the world, and more importantly, the people who supposedly love them back.
Unfortunately we have no control over how other people treat us. We have no control over the rules set by rehabs that we don't own. And it may be unfair, but as my mama always said, "life isn't fair."
The best thing we can do is set boundaries so that IF someone takes advantage of or us treats us poorly, we have empowered ourselves to walk away without leaving our heart and soul behind.
Yes it hurts. Dealing with reality can be very painful, but if we don't have boundaries it hurts even more.
So now, while he is in treatment, I hope you will take time to learn about yourself and decide how you WANT to be treated in this life. And then set boundaries about what kind of behavior you will accept when it comes to the people you surround yourself with. And then determine what you will do if someone violates those boundaries.
That way, this will never happen to you again and at the very least, you will have grow immensely because of the situation you have been put through.