"... I asked him what it was like for him not to have to watch over me...He just said it was weird...weird? Wanting him to expand a little on the answer...and he got mad and said that I 'wants results immediately!'...So - I guess this is anger at me for all the years of what I put him through? But my question is, when does that abate. I mean, my god, I've stopped drinking, I've apologized over and over, what else can I do here?..."
Coffeenut is right; actions speak way louderf than words. Was this his anger for all the years.....? Sure, it could be. When will it abate? Who knows. Hopefully both you and your H are using some kind of recovery programs--working on yourselves.....?, or some kind of counselling or therapy....? This would probably help a lot. Both parties have usually engaged in actions that will no longer be necessary, and learning about them, and how to handle situations now will be a growing edperience for both of you, not just you.
I did want to put one thing out there as a possible answer to your H's 'wierd' resonse. He was probably so used to 'watcing over you' in the past that he may have spent a good deal of time this night also 'watching over you' (perhaps even subconsciously), and he may be a bit embarrassed........eh?
Ah well, just wanted to throw another option out there....ande wish you well.
NoelleR