Hello there...I am so sorry that this has happened, but so glad that you are seeing this as an opportunity for growth. I mean, the issue is that the legal stuff happened...it is what it is, you know? But what what you do with this is going to make all the difference for you.
And, by the way, I know exactly what you mean when you talk about that little voice telling you that maybe someday you might be able to drink normally. That little voice has been loud in me the past week or so, and I just keep telling it it's wrong! Also, reading the experiences of others here with that same little voice lets me know that it's all part of it, the addiction, talking. Normal drinkers don't think like this to begin with.
I wish you all the peace you can possibly find on this journey. Please keep posting.