That little voice is finally gone
Hello again SA, some of you may remember me, some of you may not. I used to post here when I was sober, got drinking again, wasn't in a right frame of mind to be posting, and so I stopped, for a long time.
I had been close to coming back recently, I had finally found a few people (professionals) that worked well with me as a group, and life was looking up. My longest sober streak in well over a year, finally a bit of confidence and hope, etc.
I was on a new medicine, and I had decided not to drink on it. Last week I asked the prescribing doctor if it was even ok to. He said that I'd be all right if I drank on it, as long as I didn't take a xanax too.
Last night I decided to go drinking, then. I had much too much, much more than I had planned on, blacked out, and am now facing charges. 1 felony, 1 misdemeanor. I do not like that, at all, but, you're not supposed to. I'm guardedly hopeful, because of my lack of previous record, but however it ends up, I have already been told by two different people that I may look back on this one day and consider it one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I already think it might be, because for all the time I've been wanting to get and stay sober, I've had a little voice inside me saying that eventually I would be able to 'get it under control' and that one day I would be able to drink and handle it.
That voice is, for the first time I can remember..gone. Completely and utterly gone. I do not think it will ever come back. Thumbs up.