Originally Posted by
want2Bfree325 
\ I on some level justify this as not being as bad. I mean, I don't know how to explain it. I'm just really hurting right now because I know letting go is best for me and if I don't get out, I will end up loving him to death and believe me that is NOT what I want. I don't know .
I hear me in here hon......... and someone, will say something to help you. I don't know/think it will be me, because here is where I get tripped up/stuck.
I would/do write here on SR and wind up feeling like an illiterate monkey..... saying "I dunno"....
But the truth is a lot of times, I just don't know. I don't know how/why we don't just walk away. I also know as a fulltime student and mother, that he zapped my energy for school, and yet when he's 'out' im even MORE zapped, because I 'wonder' etc.
All I'm saying is to keep trying to tell yourself that it's probably worse in the LONG run for you to stay in this situation. It stinks now... i know, i know. Am there/been there/ will hopefully perservere this time........
BUT time does heal.
Make him go an put YOU first. Tell yourself THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE, this has to do WITH WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!!! (another great member told ME that, and it helps a lot).
Love,
Cess