Want2befree-
I feel your pain. I felt the same way you do with my ex ABF. I worried about him, worried about where he would go, worried about what he would do to himself ( he talked of suicide also) until I worried myself into insanity! It was a DAILY consuming thought in my head. I lost myself, my selfesteem, my love for myself, self respect. It consumed my whole being.
What it boils down to is this.....you need to decide what YOU want, what YOU need and what will make YOU happy. That means that you will end up having to become as SELFISH as the addict to escape the insanity of living with the SELFISH addict. I promise you will eventually get to where you will put yourself FIRST. For some of us on here it took only a couple months, some a year ( like myself) and some even 10 years. Only you will KNOW when you have had enough and when it is time to put yourself FIRST! That feeling of taking yourself back will be so wonderful!