This is exactly where I am at the moment. Strange that I should come across a post when I was just thinking to same things to myself... after months of suboxone tapering, some meetings, and a lot of reading and thinking...I am finally seeing that I can rejoin the ranks of the living. I felt like I had turned into a zombie.... no extreme sadness but no great joy either. Lately it has changed and I am ridiculously optimistic and excited about the future and I look forward to whats to come. It does, indeed, seem to be getting better. its empowering as parts of yourself start to rekindle and turn up again.