Do you know what it's like to see the one you love with their eyes vacant and hollow, with no expression on their face, and to feel so completely terrified and afraid of what they may be capable of? How can I love someone who tells me how disgusting I am, and how I'm the biggest **** he's ever met?
Oh yes. I know. I think most of us do. Maybe we have experienced it on different levels to different degrees. Oh, I've had by far worse said to me that you described here. And finally I waited until he was sober (oh THAT was a tough one!!) And when he apologized and tried to smooth everything over I was standing eye to eye with him and with the sweetest demeanor said: You've made it perfectly clear how undesirable and disgusting I am and I wouldn't DREAM of you spending another minute with me since I am so clearly unworthy. Good Bye.
You're being emotionally, verbally and psychologically abused. Do you have a church or a close friend you trust to confide in and obtain objective advice to plan your safety hatch?