humblestudent

This past month of being sober has shown me new and interesting things about myself (and others...) on almost a daily basis. The latest is that I am seeing glimpses of who I was before I ever started this mess years ago. What I mean by this, is the fun, playful, person I was is starting to peek out from behind the curtains. I am being pleasantly surprised to find that this part of me, or all of "me", who I was, is still in here somewhere under all the jaded self-loathing of addiction. I had become a hard, irritable, person going from one drinking episode to another, with at least 80 hrs. of work in between.

I'm finding that my intrinsic 'softness' is beginning to come out, a more patient me, a more open and almost naive me in some ways. Basically someone who I thought was long dead, was still inside of me, but just smothered by alcohol all along.

I used to mourn for this part of me, figuring that that ship had long sailed, and figuring that it would be impossible to be that person again. It's just a nice surprise to know that I'm still in here. If that makes ANY sense at all.


Have any of you had this experience??