Originally Posted by
Stealthealer 
Well, today is day #39 for me, and in three hours, I can consider myself IN day 40.
I am trying not to be pragmatic about the drinking. I suspect that, alot like unbroken, I could have "averaged down" my weekly consumption, and as long as the trend line was downhill, I could consider it a victory. But for me I don't think that would work...undoubtedly I would find some excuse to bump up a notch here and there....leading me back to where I was.
However, I am not sure I'm a believer in all-or-none either. Never is too endless a word (as is always).
SO here I am thinking about all of you one-day-at-a-time-ers and how much sense that makes. Problem is, I know too much about physiology and my body- my liver is likely back to normal, my brain is functioning fine, and I have an otherwise healthy lifestyle. There is realtive order in my life. I could go on a 3 day bender now, then quit again for another 40 days, and I'd be back to baseline normalcy once again....
Am I fooling myself or just over-thinking, boiling things down to the most simple common denominator?
I'm not recommending this, but the option is always there to try out the drinking again and see what happens. If you're a true addict it will get worse. It always does for us. Once you reach your pain threshold you can then surrender to the truth of what you are, and complete abstinence without reservation. Only you can make the determination of what you are, and capable of. As they say in the rooms,
We'll gladly refund your misery.
I will ask this though. Is baseline normalcy all you want out of life? Does a three day bender followed by 40 days of abstinence-rinse, wash, repeat- sound like normal behavior to you? Sorry if i sound like a hardass. I'm not meaning to, just speaking from hardearned experience. I've had thoughts like your above post a million times, and acted on it only to cause more suffering for myself. I wish you the best on your journey.