Hi Jan
I think it might be worth reading my OP again, this is the whole point it is not solely the alcohol that was THE problem...the problem was me...the alcohol is the full stop to the sentence. Sure we have to stop drinking to be able to get help, but stopping drinking alone is not enough...i had to stop drinking and get help fast to be restored to sanity on an everyday basis or it was always only a matter of time before i would take the first drink again as i was insane with or without alcohol.
Insane doesn't mean crazy by the way, it just means not whole...of not sound mind...
You'll probably here this one at AA, but
What do you call a drunk horse thief who has stopped drinking...a horse thief:-)