Welcome Fakey.
Um, sorry, Stealth. I didn't mean to give you or anybody a hard time. Just being honest. Glad to see you're still holding at 38...
Triggers...
I've found, letting things overwhelm me, going on autopilot (ie, being preoccupied and just doing what seems natural), and--especially--the idea of a million days ahead of me sober (after getting used to sobriety), are the things that I've relapsed behind.
Too much stress, too little stress... those too.
I can say one good thing about keeping a journal of my 'triggers'--those that have actually set me to drinking, as well as those that have only produced physical-type craving, and also those that just cause the thoughts to come... being able to see it all wrote down does help.
In my defense, I don't believe I've messed up behind the same thing. Hope I ran out of things to slip me up, or at least that I've got a better grip on the things I can use to fight them...
A part of this time round had to do with feeling left out of things. I don't have a family, or work or anything else going on here... or a car and I live about 20 miles from everybody else, who mostly live near each other.
Relapsing has made the AA people talk to me after meetings and stuff again--although I hope I don't end up seeing it as a way to feel like I belong again. It's not really worth it, to say the least. Hope I remember that.
Just my little wrote-out thoughts on relapse and the thirtybubba... For me I suppose, as much as for anybody.
Take care y'all,
TB, with a slight headache but feeling better overall.