When I'm out now, since I can't drink, I usually decide to strike up a conversation with someone. Of course, I used to talk to anyone and everyone drunk off my ***. But I would only remember snippets of the conversation if I was lucky...and I realized tonight that this was preventing me from actually connecting with anyone. Up until literally tonight, when this struck me, I had thought that I was Miss Social Butterfly, etc. Maybe I was, but I couldn't tell you a damn thing we talked about.
Tonight, at a function I was at, with alcohol totally out of the equation, I had not one, but two really enjoyable conversations, where I asked each person a lot about themselves, and found myself truly interested to learn about these people. This was kind of a new experience for me - because normally, I would be fixated on drinking, and being that this was an event where it would be poor form to drink "too much", I'd be wondering if I had gone over the line, and oh, yeah, can I have another drink?
The wine on someone's breath was a bit of a trigger (even though I am not nor have ever been a wine drinker...), but other than that, I honestly didn't give one hoot that they were all drinking and I wasn't. Could've cared less. I've also noticed that since I'm not buying it/drinking it/being physically and emotionally ill from it, that my thoughts are more productive and plentiful. There's more room in my head now for important things that I have heretofore neglected.
Wow - who'd a thunk??
