Welcome Kimber
I too am sort of a newbie. I was too drunk to post the first time I attempted it. I am now sober for 9 hours. May not sound like much, but for me it is nothing less than miraculous.
Your story was touching, and you sound like a very intelligent and sweet person. I am all too familiar with being in a toxic relationship that involved drugs/alcohol, but you are very lucky to have found someone who loves you enough that they will help you through the nightmare that is drug/alcohol addiction.
I too have always been considered 'strong' by relatives and past friends, yet inside I'm in inexplicable fear. That is why I'm so glad I found this site.., So that I can can talk to or hear from others who have known this horrible thing.
My heart and thoughts are with you :-)