Hi Steven, you don't have to apologise for anything ...I was just trying to point out that people will mention AA/NA to you, pariticular if they have not followed your story. We never have a problem with someone if they are not interested.There are plenty posting here who have recovered in other ways.
Shame? It was shame which finally brought me down to my knees after I took my very last drink. It may seem like a negative but that feeling of shame, guilty, self-loathing, digust, utter despair, got me sober.
I don't think anyone would guess that I was an alcoholic as most of my drinking was done in secret and in company I really did all I could most of the time to drink at other people's pace rather than slam them down like I preferred.
Whatever your issues with depression and bipolar you are going to be better off without the alcohol and drugs that you abuse.
You are with people who understand here.