Hi anovapartofme,
I have also been guilty of cancelling doctors appointments and blood work for fear of what they might find.. I am a binge drinker/drug addict and when I binge the sheer amount of alcohol I've consumed should've killed me ages ago.. 57 beers in one day once.. plus xanax and percocet
Welcome to this wonderful site.. Some very kind and compassionate people r here who know what u r going through because we have been there (or are there).
I desperately want to wake up one day after a good, natural nights sleep without dragon breath and a hangover.. And I know I will, and so will you.
Feel free to PM me if u want to talk.