Day One
Hi,
I found this site 2 nights ago while drunk, on vicodin, and on xanax. I was terribly scared in a way I can't describe.. My posts are in the other Newcomer's category if u r interested.
I've been an addict since the age of 13 and am now 35 and I want nothing more than to get and stay clean without having to feel soul-crushing depression and misery all the time.
As of this writing, I have taken 1 percocet and 1 klonopin after having about 4 beers and some eggs (I am well aware of the destruction this may be causing to my liver).
Everyone I've met here so far has been like an angel to me.. I need gentle help.. I want nothing more than to stop doing this to myself.. I'm not ready for AA or NA.. I need to be clean for a while first.. (does that sound like a rationalization?)
Anyway, I just posted here because I need all the help I can get on a regular basis (I was never the needy type until now!) and u people have already been so kind even though u didnt have to be. If any of u ever need someone to talk to because you r suffering, I will be there for you...
Sorry if I'm rambling and incoherent but my emotions and my mind are a wreck at the moment.. :-)