Two day sober musician...
Hey, guys.
I don't know where to start with this, so I suppose I will just tell you a bit about myself.
I'm 22 years old and I'm binge drinking alcoholic. Most days, I will sit down with a fifth of vodka(or whiskey) and just drink for 10 hours straight. Two days ago, I drank a whole bottle AND a six pack of beer in one sitting. I don't know about you guys, but that seems really SCARY to me. The usual routine goes like this... go buy the largest amount of hard liquor for the cheapest amount of money possible. Drink it all down, go to sleep, wake up about after 4 hours, spend the rest of that day puking my guts promising never to drink again, as soon as I get feeling well enough... back to the liquor store I go. I don't drink with anyone, mind you. All alone. I don't really have any friends anymore. No family either since my mom was a foster kid and my dad's family really don't want anything to do with me because of the life I lead. (I'm a liberal, alcohol chugging, musician... they're right-wing "christian" republicans.)
I've done this for about 2 months straight, now(and have been a long time drinkiner way before this). But I have managed to go through two days without drinking. I barely sleep, i'm extremely irritable and angry, I keep getting a little sick, my muscles are aching, depressed to no end, and thinking some really really bad things. Now, I'm not doctor or anything, but it seems to me that this might be a mild form of withdrawal?
I keep reading all these things about how withdrawal could be dangerous, which really scares me. I know I should go to a doctor... one problem.... no health insurance. I want to seek professional help so badly, but simply can't. Recently got laid off from my job, like many others these days, I have no money coming in. How is someone suppose to get help when they have no health insurance, has lost their job, and has already spent most of the money they had on alcohol and other thing?
Also, it's really hard for me to get away from alcohol, as I am a musician. It seems to be like, some sort of odd part of our culture. Everyone I know drinks.
So I'm gonna stop here before I write you an autobiograhpy. Anyway, I hope to talk to you all soon and find out what I can do about this.