Hi anovapartofme!
I'm glad you're here.
I too used alcohol as a sleep aid because I had an irrational fear of not being able to sleep. Alcohol is a liar when it comes to getting quality sleep - sure it'll knock you out but it disrupts the brain waves that are necessary for the healing power of sleep.
As I get more and more days of sobriety under my belt I realize that I couldn't sleep because I had fear and I had fear because I wasn't living the way I should - with or without alcohol. Now that I'm doing the right things - I am free of guilt, shame, and fear so I sleep like a child. This may or may not be the case for you but coming here to talk about it is a step in the right direction in helping you to figure that out.
I wish you the best.