RacerX

Hi anovapartofme,

First, welcome to SR and please know that you are NOT alone. I'm on Day 6 of sobriety right now and so much of your story reflects my own. If it helps:

1. I drank a magnum bottle of wine a night because I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep. Plus, I wanted to mask the anxiety of my life (which alcohol only makes worse, BTW).
2. I also scheduled many doc appt only to chicken out - scared of what they might find.
3. I knew I had to get help because I was only slowly killing myself (emotionally if not physically).

We all have to come to our own point where we say "enough is enough" and I hope and pray you hit that point soon.

For me, I finally went an fessed up to my pastoral counselor. He in turn got me to a therapist that deals with alcohol recovery (he's 13 years sober right now) and he in turn got me to a psychiatrist that specializes in alcohol abuse - both physcially and mentally.

I know that might sound like a lot but, I promise you, once you take the first step you will feel a huge weight that is lifted from you.

With the help I'm receiving, I can tell you that I'm sleeping well at night and I can't even begin to tell you how good the mornings feel. I'm also going to 2 AA meetings a day and am at a start of what I hope will be a new life - one day at a time.

One last thing that really helped me. My psychiatrist took me through how alcohol really messes up your sleep patterns at night. The long/short of it is that 3 hours of sober sleep is much healthier than 8-10 hours of drunk sleep.

Best of luck and look forward to hearing your story of recovery.

RacerX