I am glad for all the support I am getting in this thread; I now have the knowledge that I am not alone and this is not uncommon. I am in AA and it is helping me tremendously. I'll be getting my 30 day coin soon
But I've been in and out of the program three times and I didn't want to go about getting a sponsor or working the steps until I was sure that I was going to stick it out and be serious about starting my recovery. I have a temporary sponsor as of yesterday. She wants me to read the big book from beginning to end and check in with her every couple of days. However, she is an older woman and thinks I need a sponsor more my age. So, most likely I will end up being sponsored by someone else.
BTW, jch116, you had some very sound advice for someone who is so newly sober. Thank you for that.