oh, and for those of u that asked if my doc knows about my alcoholism.. the answer is no... I fear he will take away my Xanax and that will cause me to go deeper into alcohol hell than ever..
And to Joel.. we sound very similar... living a dual lifestyle of working out and healthy eating, followed by a nearly biblical drug/alcohol binge.. The thing is, I feel so much better when living healthy and active.. but then the depressive symptoms of my bipolar disorder kick in hard.. I run to anything then;.... anything that will numb that dread and hopelessness
I am well aware I am an addict, and I feel I am always running away from my problems, but it is because I never can see any light at the end of the tunnel.... Or any end to the tunnel....