ATime4Change - welcome to the family. It's great to see you here. This is the place that helped point me in the right direction after I failed to quit on my own. The people here gave me courage I didn't know I had. Finally, there were people who understood exactly what I was going through. No one else in my life understood or was sympathetic.
I too drank for many years. I didn't mean to ever let it become a daily habit, but it overtook me and hijacked my life. My drinking progressed like yours did. It was all so innocent at first - I remember getting high off one beer. I would have laughed if anyone had told me I'd end up drinking 24/7 just to keep from shaking. I never accomplished what I might have - I was too busy getting numb. I had to force myself to stop dwelling on regrets, though, and allow myself to move forward and make the most of the years I have remaining.
You can do this, I know you can. After a lifetime of drinking I've made it to 2 yrs. without a drop. Stay with us, and be proud of yourself for wanting a new and better life.